In the beggining….

God saw Adam in the garden of eden playing with himself, and the following conversation took place

God: Adam Adam
Adam: *silence*
God: Adam answer me! I know you are behind the tree
Adam: I’m here!
God: Adam what where you doing behind the tree
Adam: who? Me? I I I I…I was not doing anything
God: Come on! Do you think I’m stupid I know exactly what you where doing
Adam: *embarassed* uhmmm….
God: what’s wrong my son are you bored?
Adam: yes
God: Well I can make an acquaintance for you, it will be called a woman, she will take care of you in anyway imaginable, she will be loyal to you, she will love you no matter what, she will make you happy for ever and ever and you will never be bored
Adam: *exited* yes yes yes! Please great this woman thing for me
God: but it will cost you!
Adam: yoh! I don’t care…I want a woman what will it cost me?
God: an arm and a leg
Adam: eish….uhmm so what can I get for a rib

And that’s the story of how we ended up with the kind of women we have now!

7 Things People Should Stop doing in 2013

I’m now going to give you a list of Seven things that I feel you shouldn’t do in 2013…yes you need to STAHP!

1. Posing with alcohol

Come on guys, posing with alcohol is so immature, and worst of all you post those pics on social networks like facebook, twitter etc…even worser(if such a word exists) using that pic as your profile pic on whatsapp, BBM, FB, twitter etc.

2. Using Mxit

If you are over the age on 18 you’ve got no business using mxit, you are too grown for that. By the way who the hell are your contacts? 11 year old kids? Paedophile much!…I’ve got 2 words for you “Statutory Rape”

3. Fighting over a man

Ladies this one is for you, this behavior shoulda stopped in the year 0001, like really now ladies, fighting over a guy? For what? I mean who still does that? If you have fought over a man in your life then shame on you! Baby Mommas you are the ones who are most guilty with the sin of fighting over a guy, yeah he is your baby daddy but you don’t own him…like damn girl! Let it go!

4. Bad mouthing another guy

Fellas this one is for you “go penta!” come on bafwethu this thing of bad mouthing a guy just to get his girl is pathetic, I know people are still doing it cause I’ve seen it with my very own eyes, guys inboxing my girl on FB trynna “expose me”…if you are doing this just know that most of the time the chick will be laying on his BF’s chest after a “good session” and she will be like “baby look at what this idiot has been saying bout you”…so guys this thing is both childish and pathetic, have some game! Go attend a short course on how to mack on a girl gaddammit!

5. Sleeping around

This one is very serious its a matter of life death and unwanted babies, this days sex is not just about having fun and exchanging body fluids, there are diseases and unwanted pregnancies out there…(I can sense you reading this saying “but dude I use protection!”) GFOH with that nonsense, you can’t tell me that you’ve never made the mistake of not using protection, so stop sleeping around, get 1 sexual partner get tested regularly and you will be just fine.

6. Voting for the Zuma

I’m not hating or anything, but voting and allowing this guy to become president is the biggest mistake South Africans have ever made as a collective, I know in South Africa you don’t vote for an individual but you vote for a Party, what I’m saying is that if the ANC is dumb enough to put this guy as their leader then they don’t deserve to be voted for
***Side Note***
I’ve got no beef with Msholozi a.k.a number one, as an individual I think he is a good man, a good father and very smooth with the ladies but a president…he SUCKS!

7. Fighting on Social Networks

Like Facebook and twitter(twar) this sh*t right here is very childish and aint nobody got time for that! If you’ve got beef with someone there is no need to start hurling insults at each other, find a way of settling the score in a more civilized manner like a FIFA challenge, a dance-off or some like that, fighting on social networks for everybody to see how idiotic you can be is not good my friend.

There you has it! The Seven deadly sins that should have not made it to 2013 and beyond, I didn’t got into much details on why’s and how’s but if you are able to use your brain you would know why I say people must STAHP doing this things

Territorial Boyfriend???

A dog marking its Territory

Sometimes I do things (which I’m not going to discuss here because I don’t want to embarrass myself) that my girlfriend hates and sometimes accuses me of being jealous and insecure, but I don’t see it as being that, I like to use the term “Territorial” and in my defense, I will try to explain my “jealousy & insecure” behavior below

“Animals(mostly males) mark their territories mainly to let other animals of the same species know that area is already occupied”….Human beings are also animals, so most times human beings and animals exhibit similar behavior

Men are human too, We can have sex only for the sake of having sex, but some of us also get emotionally attached. There is this misconception that men don’t have emotions or don’t experience emotions on the same level as women . In my personal opinion I think men can be and are just as emotional as women and if jealousy isn’t an emotion then I don’t know what is. Jealousy is where being territorial comes from.

Most of us consider betrayal by women who we are emotionally attached to/Love as a deal breaker, As a boyfriend it can be painful when my woman seeks some kind of comfort outside of the relationship especially from another guy, you don’t have to sleep with him just flirting with him is enough to send some guys over the edge, the image that we as guys replay in our minds of our lovers possibly being with other men is not something we even want to think about.

So that’s why I think we become possessive and territorial, and sometimes it may come across as being jealous, paranoid or insecure, but ladies we you have to understand that this comes from a place of love, so that “friend” that’s overly flirty with you is seen as a threat, it doesn’t matter how confident you are with yourself. but a guy that is always sniffing around your woman is like a mosquito that keeps buzzing around your ear, you just want to kill it cause its damn irritating. So ladies please tell these “friends” of yours to tone it down a little, cause I’m sure he wouldn’t like it if someone starts flirting with his woman.

So yah, Men do experience insecurity, and become possessive of our women and flip out every time we observe our women pay attention to someone else.  It takes a very, very long time for this behavior to change because its something that comes naturally to us, I say this because sometimes its really not something that we can control.

• So baby I’m protective because I care and if I stop being protective be concerned.

• I’m not saying being paranoid and insecure is good, I know its a huge turn off for most people.

• So girls be mindful of the fact that its natural for us to show a little bit of possessiveness when there are other men trying to get into your pants (or look like they are trying to)

• And to you gents, bafethu, majita, dudes, Niggas or what ever you call yourself…..

“Watch your thoughts, because they become words. Watch your words, because they become actions. Watch your actions, because they become habits. Watch your habits, because they become character. Watch your character, because it becomes your destiny”

Don’t be that Paranoid, insecure, possessive, annoying boyfriend, it doesn’t look good on you guys, I’m also working on my self so that I become a more secure, open-minded boyfriend…baby if you are reading this I’m still a work in progress please bare with me.

University Student fakes death to avoid exams

When dumb decisions happen to dumb people

“The whereabouts of University of The Free State (UFS) student Thabiso Moholoholo have been determined. He was found to be
in Qwaqwa by the South African Police Service (SAPS) who used cell phone tracking to locate the “missing” student.
Thabiso “disappeared” on 9 October 2012 from the Bloemfontein Campus allegedly on his way to the UFS Sasol Library. He was a second-year student doing the BSc Environmental Studies programme, and was a resident in Tswelopele Residence on the Bloemfontein Campus at the time of his disappearance.

The university’s Protection Services, with the assistance of the SAPS, went to great lengths to search for him up until he was found. The investigative work of well-known private investigator Leon Rossouw also assisted greatly in the case.

Shortly after his disappearance a message indicating that he was dead and photos of him lying face-down, covered in what seemed to be blood were posted on his Facebook page. This was followed with a similar SMS message to a friend.
It has now been discovered that Thabiso disappeared on his own initiative and that he made-up the violent photos for his Facebook page with the help of a friend.
The senior leadership of the university and residence leadership of Tswelopele are obviously relieved that he was found and thanks everyone who worked tirelessly to find the student. The university has spent considerable time and extended its limited financial and human resources all in an effort to find this so-called missing student; this conduct is completely
unacceptable. The stress on the family, fellow students and the university community as a whole is incalculable.
The university therefore views this staged disappearance in a very serious light and considers this act to constitute very serious student misconduct, which could result in disciplinary action and possible expulsion.
full detailed story here

• This in October around exam time, coincidence? I think not! This kid wanted to avoid writing exams by all means necessary

• Or maybe he didn’t qualify to write any of the exams

• Either you can’t fake your own bloody murder kid, where did you think you’ll end up? How about your family and friends, they are busy worried about you and you are busy galavanting the streets of Qwagwa…shame on you

• And you wasted University and State resources, while other people needed them

The Oscar Pistorius Chronicles ( More evidence)

Police in South Africa have discovered more damning evidence against Oscar Pistorius, in the form of two perfectly functional legs in the back of his wardrobe.

Pistorius is suspected of murdering girlfriend Reeva Steenkamp, but the latest revelation suggests he really is a proper bastard.
“When I heard that he’d probably shot his super-pretty girlfriend, moved the body and then shot her again, I thought to myself, ‘I bet there’s a simple explanation’”, said sports fan Arnold Gresham. “But then I heard about previous disturbances at his house,
a bloodied cricket bat, a bag of steroids and a secret biology laboratory sustaining his actual, real legs. Well, it does start to make you wonder.”
Gresham had hoped to stay a loyal fan of Pistorius, but the steady flow of revelations is beginning to undermine that. “We all make mistakes”, he admitted”, “but cheating against the disabled is just wrong. I think he owes us an apology, a bit like Lance Armstrong.”

In the past, being suspected of a brutal, violent murder was enough to cause the public to slowly drift away from their
heroes. But as Gresham explained, he wasn’t truly shocked by the unspeakable crime, until he totted up all of the other sensational details. “You hear about murders all the time”, said Gresham, “there were more than 15,000 in South Africa last year
alone.” “But it’s hard to be interested, unless the newspapers can find an interesting twist. I hope it’s a long trial, so we can properly vilify him.” Gresham has decided not to follow in his hero’s foot-steps now, and has cancelled a leg reduction surgery at a back- street amputation clinic.
“I feel stupid for looking up to him, but I guess it’s inevitable with his 37″ inside leg. I used to think he was half the man he really is.”

Village mentality and Boloyi (Go swarega)

Village mentality is bad mentality, there is nothing wrong with coming from or staying in a village…hell villages are the places where the most humble, obedient, respecting and intelligent are brewed. A village is mostly very small, and village mentality means small mindedness. Growing up in a village myself I found out that most village people are intelligent but there is one thing that they seem to be ignorant about, the one thing that fascinates the typical village mind, and it is usually the intellectually short-sleeved that always entertains this subject. It a subject of WITCHCRAFT aka BOLOYI.

The reason I’m blogging about this is because today I was having a conversation with an older relative of mine, who for some reason started to gossip about an elderly lady yo a beng a “swaregile” I don’t know what go swarega is ka english so you’ll have to forgive me if you don’t understand. You see the relative of mine has what I call village mentality. I asked her what did that “witch” o abeng a “swaregile” do, she told me that she was found half naked in somebody’s yard she didn’t know who she was and what she was doing in that yard. Apparently the community wanted to burn her because she is a witch, fortunately the police came on time to rescue the poor old woman on time.

The community wanted to kill the old woman without any evidence of boloyi or witchcraft, they didn’t have proof of her killing someone and turning him/her into a zombie or tokoloshi. They wanted to kill her because they found her in someone’s yard? You see this is mob village mentality at play, and this sent chills down my spine, because that sounds exactly like something my late great grandmother would have done, my late grandmother who was a nurse and a devoted christian would sometimes forget her own name, she would cry and demand to be taken home even though she was home, she would go to the neighbour’s house and ask to me taken home.

But my granny was no witch, and obe asa swarege, she was old! And that’s what some old people go through, there are diseases such as alzheimer’s and dementia, and my grandmother had it Alzheimer’s is a form of dementia. Dementia literally means “loss of mind’ and it can refer to a number of conditions that affect language, memory, perception, emotional behavior or personality, and cognitive skills. So next time ge o bona an old women a “swaregile” take her home or call her family to come fetch her without causing any drama, cause this disease can happen to anyone, maybe next time it might be your grandmother or your own mother. So let go of the village mentality and stop calling people baloyi, cause otla swarwa and be sued for defamation of character.

Ayt Peace

The Oscar Pistorius Chronicles ( the cricket bat as evidence factor)

Facing allegations that he killed girlfriend Reeva Steenkamp during a dispute at his Pretoria mansion on valentines day, track star Oscar Pistorius a.k.a the fastest man on no foot a.k.a the bullet in the barrel a.k.a Oscar Pistol-rius swore before the magistrate during his bail application that a bloodied cricket bat found on his property was in fact used in a completely different murder. “Honest to God, I never used that bat on Reeva—you have to believe me,” the double amputee said of the blood-soaked wooden paddle, claiming he had only ever used it in the 2011 slaying of a Johannesburg prostitute and “a handful” of cricket matches. “Seriously, I haven’t even seen that thing since I killed a hooker with it. To be honest, I forgot I still had it lying
around.” According to sources, Pistorius went on to claim that Steenkamp’s skull was already caved in before he shot her four times.

13 SANDF Soldiers die protecting CAR cowards

Let’s start with a moment of silence……………………………….*silence*………………………………………….

*sigh*…thank you! Today (25th March 2013) is a sad day for our country as 13 South African soldiers have fallen in the hands of the Seleka rebels in Central Africa republic, ok be for I go on with this entry I’d like to say “may the dead rest in peace, the wounded recover and the remaining be safe”

So 200 SANDF soldiers took on 3000 CAR rebels, SANDF suffered fatalities with 13 soldiers being killed and about 27 injured (read here) its pretty obvious that our soldiers were out numbered, I mean simple mathematics will show you that the ratio was 1:15, meaning one SANDF member had to take on fifteen rebels on his own.

Apparently the SANDF were sent to CAR on a peace keeping mission, they were there to train the poorly trained CAR state soldiers, and to protect the President Francois Bozize.

So the way I see it when the rebels came the poorly trained state soldiers ran away, and left our soldiers to fight their war in their own country, hell…even the President fled…he went *Poof* and disappeared, so basically what happened here is we were protecting a bunch of cowards who could not defend their own country, and when push came to shove, they left us for dead with 3000 rebels attacking our soldiers, and the why and the what’s of what our soldiers were doing there is not important, I mean soldiers don’t just wake up as say “damn I’d like to go to war torn CAR for a holiday” they are given orders to go there.

But what does the defeat mean to South Africa and the rest of the world? Does this mean that the African super power is weak? Because foreign media is reporting that the rebels were met with no or little resistance, the rebel leader Michael mang-mang has declared himself President of CAR now.

• I think we (RSA) should not retreat, we should finish what we started, reinforce our soldiers, send in back up, moved the dead and the injured back to SA. And go for combat.

• Or our soldiers could just come back home, what’s the use of fighting for a country that’s not ours? The soldiers who we were training ran away and left us for dead, the President also used the back door and fled…what are we still doing there?

•> What do you think about the whole situation?

•>What do you think the solution should be?

Gwede Mantashe’s Top 5 metaphors

Man you got to love ANC’s Secretary General Gwede Mantashe’s metaphors, some times his metaphors complicates everything, but sometimes it makes all that political talk understandable. Any ways we have made a collections of Gwede’s top 5 metaphors

1. “We can’t have instant leadership, the difference between filter coffee and instant coffee is quality.”

2. About putting corrupt politicians in leadership positions he said “its like taking a mouse from the bush and asking it to run a cheese factory.”

3. “But if you think you are going to stand on the mountain and throw stones, you are staying in glass houses, and when we throw stones back, you cry and say your stones are broken, then there is a mistake”

4. Here he was talking about the criticizing opposition parties, its kinda confusing but this is what he said

5. “When the ANC moves, it moves like an elephant swift and hard.”

Questions I always ask myself

I’m in a phase in my life, where I’m asking myself a lot of questions, I’m at a stage where I really want to discover my self, a stage where I’m asking my self who am I? What am I here for? Am I doing what I’m supposed to do? How do I know if what I’m currently doing or living my life its how I’m supposed to be living it, Do I decide my own destiny or there is something out there that I’m supposed to be? What’s God’s role in all this? What does God expect from God and what am I supposed to expect from God? Is there a God?

I’ve got too many questions and I don’t have answers, and most of the time the answers that I get leads to more question. What I want to know is who is supposed to answer this questions for me? Should I figure things out for myself? Is there someone who can help me answer this questions for me? Will spirituality and religion help me answer all or some of the questions?

Most of the time it frustrates, to have so many questions but having no clue where to start when seeking answers, I get people who tell me to look inside me for answers, another word that pops up a lot is the word “soul”. I’m also struggling with figuring out what is the “soul”. Apparently the soul “is the self, the “I” that inhabits the body and acts through it”.> This answer leaves me with a lot of questions as well.

I will try mybest to try and answer the questions above, so come back to find out if I was able to if I’m still struggling.

Ayt Peace